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Banter Central FC joined Power League in June 2008 to play 5-a-side on a Monday night. How nice. This right here is the place to "read all about it", as a seller of the Evening Standard might say.
Monday 26th August League vs. ODT, Won 12-3 Squad: Boma, Cling, Euro, Wommy, Gill, Baird Scorers: Baird (3), Euro (2), Wommy (4), Gill (2), Cling This was a team Banter had beaten 4-3 and lost 5-4 to, it was therefore quite a difference. Banter's passing was precise, the movement quick and the shooting clinical. Rod was missing, we knew that beforehand, but Wuker simply forgot so Boma stepped in goal, performing excellently again. The blues raced into a late with excellent finishes from Baird and Euro, before the latter should have made it 4-0 after a one two with Cling saw him score but adjudged to have been in the penalty area, when he clearly wasn't. Wommy made sure it did get to 4-0 but slight loss of concentration saw ODT pull a couple back, first when Boma's throw out didn't find Baird but the opposing striker and second when Euro was sloppy in possession and let ODT have a free shot at goal. 4-2 at half time. The second half started just as the first did for Banter, more good football and movement that even ODT had admitted was difficult to deal with. Baird bullied his way down the left and slotted in wonderfully with his left peg, Wommy managed what Euro never could and that was going around the keeper on the edge of the area to tap home, Cling finished calmly when racing through one-on-one, even Jonny Gill used his laces for another cool goal. The best was surely Euro's 2nd though, after some neat work from the number 10 to find Wommy, he passed the ball right across the goalkeeper and penalty area to find Cling who used his one and only touch to blindly set Euro to slot into the bottom corner. Wommy took advantage of a poor flick in the middle of the pitch to run on and tuck a left foot shot away, whilst ODT got their 3rd from some slack marking by Cling. But it mattered not as a thrashing was complete in what might or might not be the last 5-a-side game. It should have been, but there are suggestions it isn't! We'll see. Great performance by all.
Monday 18th August League vs. The Real Ale Vue, Won 5-2 Squad: Fintan, Boma, Cling, Euro, Wommy, Gill, Baird Scorers: Euro, Gill (2), Baird, ??? With so many coming and going in this league it can be difficult to keep up, but we recognised this lot having roasted them back in July. It should have been more of the same but Banter instead took it a bit too easy. It was also believed the score was 4-2, so no idea who got that 5th. The pick of the bunch was Gillardino's 2nd. A quick free-kick from Cling saw a one-two with Jonny, who found space to take a neat pass from Wommy to slam home. With 2nd place guaranteed, it seems Banter just love claiming runner-up medals.
Monday 4th August League vs. Lions FC, Lost 12-2 Squad: Wuker, Fintan, Cling, Euro, Wommy, Baird Scorers: Cling, Euro Easily the worst defeat of the season in a game of two halves. First half saw Banter take the lead through a Cling rocket into the roof of the net, before Lions took over to make it 2-1. Euro was sent through on goal and coolly finished into the bottom corner to equalise before a slip-up by Wuker saw Lions go 3-2 up at half time. But the second half was different. With Banter's 6 players to Lions 8 and Banter looking tired, not to mention still carrying excessive amounts of alcohol in some cases, it became embarrassing in the second period. The ball wasn't doing the work anymore and everyone's performance at some stage was not up to it. Lions banged in 9 second half goals, much to the delight of their fans who seemed to think they were Brazil. Sadly Banter played like Barnsley for 25 minutes. 12-2. Ouch. | Division 1 | | Team | P | W | L | D | GF | GA | PP | PTS | | LIONS FC | 7 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 86 | 23 | 0 | 19 | | BANTER CENTRAL | 7 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 55 | 37 | 0 | 12 | | ODT | 7 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 45 | 26 | 0 | 10 | | HEATHMANS | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 20 | 25 | 0 | 6 | | THE REAL ALE VUE | 7 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 30 | 75 | 0 | 6 | | STEVE FC | 6 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 15 | 65 | 0 | 3 |
Monday 28th July League vs. ODT, Lost 5-4 Squad: Wuker, Fintan, Wommy, Tino, Gill, Baird
Monday 21st July League vs. Heathmans. Won 13-6 Squad: Fintan, Cling, Euro, Wommy, Tino, Gill, Dog Bak Scorers: Cling (2), Euro (4), Gill (5), Dog Bak (2)
With a number of regulars missing, back up was needed and thankfully Tino, Gillardino and Dog offered it, Tino even kindly volunteered to be our goalkeeper. Banter knew the opposition could cause them problems based on previous results in the league, and cause problems they did. Well, for about 15 minutes. Banter fell a goal down early on after being out-numbered at the back. When Tino left his area (“you didn’t tell me that rule, potato, potato…”), Heathmans were awarded a penalty. Thankfully it was the worst penalty anybody has ever taken, anywhere, in the World, since the dawn of time. If you’d put another goal next to the goal it would still have missed. Had the door to the pitch been left open, I’m sure this casual, tame pass would have headed through it and trickled off down the street. But the black’s (that’s their shirts, ok? Get over it, Eaton) doubled their lead anyway and Banter were 2-down before even getting started. From there it was all blue, shot after shot, chance after chance but positively, dominating possession and playing good football. Heathmans lost arguably their strongest player mid-way through the half to a 50-50 challenge with Dog. The referee’s quiet little whistle went to give another decision he really didn’t know what for. But Cling and Euro’s re-introduction saw the game turn, the number 7’s smash off the backboard found his team-mate to control and tuck away to pull it back to 2-1. Soon after, Cling set Dog free to hit another of his left foot shots – this one perhaps the least well hit of the lot – into the corner of the net to equalise. Just before the half, Cling ran from deep, played it into Fintan who delivered a wonderfully weighted ball back for him to poke home and make it 3-2 at half time.
Many a comment about “we’re making this lot look good” was made by Heathmans in the second half. The only team making Banter look good was Banter. The only thing stopping Banter from being better was Heathmans goalkeeper. But goal after goal came in the second half as the blues split the defence open with incisive, one-touch passing. Jonny in particular was influencing almost every attack, on one occasion shimmying through the middle and finishing – with the instep, of course – into the bottom corner wonderfully. Euro claimed another and Cling first time volleyed a rebound into the top corner to make it 5-2. Wommy and Fintan attempted to claim goals after the game to steal from Gillardino-calves, but their play was always dangerous in the final 3rd. More easy finishes from Euro and Jonny followed, plus another long range effort from Dog after a lovely lay off from Finny Fin Fin of Fintanshire. With the score at 12-4, it was a question of how many more could be put away as a few more chances were wasted – Cling hitting the post and Euro attempted go around the goalkeeper for the 1 millionth time in the last 12 months. Some sloppy defending from Banter let the black’s in a little and the game finished up at 13-6.
Boma, Cling, Hore and Euro are sunning themselves up in Turkey next week, so Rod Fintan is to run the team. Hopefully there’ll be as good a performance as was put in this evening.
Monday 14th July League vs. The Real Ale Vue. Won 14-1 Squad: Wuker, Fintan, Boma, Cling, Euro, Wommy, Gill Scorers: Fintan (3), Euro (6 (1 pen)), Wommy, Gill (4)
I lost count. So did they. Thankfully the referee didn’t. The easiest game Banter will play in, surely. Banter took a fairly fortunate lead after 10 minutes of no goals; Euro slotted away a penalty to the goalkeeper’s left. A host of chances were created, more missed than converted but Euro had a hat trick to his name before the half was even out. Rod Fintan was finding space but he was also finding the backboard with his shots most of the time as well. Any goal that Jonny scored was side-footed out of the ‘keepers reach. 6-0 at half time.
If the first half was comfortable, then the second half was something that is a lot more comfortable than even that. Euro continued to chip away whilst Cling picked pass after pass in behind the defence for Fintan and Wommy to latch onto. Gillardino continued to stroke the ball into the bottom corners, on one occasion it was so casual that no-one knew if it would even count. When told to use his laces, the only thing Jonny does is get down on one knee and tie his boots up tighter. If you watch Banter’s crossbar challenge from February, he even side-foots his halfway line effort. At 8-0 there was a lapse in concentration, Cling was dispossessed in midfield and a wild shot found its way in past Wuker, a goal he’ll be disappointed to concede – not only because the clean sheet had gone but because he’d saved far better efforts up to that point. The Brick Wall stopped Ale Vue’s second from the penalty spot, too. A pretty harsh decision when his hand had clearly not left the area, in a tighter game it could have been more costly for Banter, but Wuker pushed a tame penalty out to safety. Fintan and Cling both hit the post, Rod’s was a curling effort which deceived all and bounced out, Cling’s a long range-drive leaving the goalkeeper wrong-footed – the woodwork ultimately denying both though. By 10-1 the nasty challenges started to fly in from that blonde cunt whose only real attribute was having lanky legs to stretch out and sometimes play the ball, but more often than not kick the opposition. After a couple of mis-timed tackles on Cling, Banter’s number 7 also committed a debateable foul himself when he accidentally clipped the heels (if that, I'd say) of his blonde friend, which caused much uproar. Complete overreaction. But some more decent team moves were finished off with ease to see the game end up 14-1.
CAPELLOS SUMMER WARM UP LEAGUE |
Division 1 |
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Team | P | W | L | D | GF | GA | PP | PTS | LIONS FC | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 53 | 11 | 0 | 12 | BANTER CENTRAL | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 36 | 14 | 0 | 9 | HEATHMANS | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 14 | 12 | 0 | 6 | ODT | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 18 | 10 | 0 | 3 | STEVE FC | 4 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 12 | 40 | 0 | 3 | THE REAL ALE VUE | 4 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 52 | 0 | 0 |
Monday 7th July League vs. Steve FC. Won 10-0 (forfeit) League vs. Lions FC. Lost 8-10 Squad: Wuker, Fintan, Boma, Cling, Hore, Euro, Wommy, Gill Scorers: Fintan, Boma, Cling (2), Euro, Wommy, Gill (2)
Not the double header we expected, with Steve FC forfeiting we took a 10-0 win. Thanks. The game we did play was a competitive version of last week’s game. It was another good encounter and goal-fest. Banter welcomed back Wuker in goal and with The Icon Dave Baird’s holidaying birthday antics, in came Jonny Gillardino-calves. It was end to end stuff throughout and Banter took a brief lead before Lions got an equaliser. Banter found a second but then repeatedly looked all over the place, poor marking and organisation saw Lions take a 6-2 lead. It should have been more but for Wuker making one outstanding save with his foot which seemed certain to find the bottom corner, another down low was pushed to safety to keep Banter in the game again. Potentially a turning point as before the half, Banter scored twice, one of which saw a lovely drag back and turn from Fintan, finished coolly into the bottom corner. 6-4 at half time.
At the beginning of the second half, Cling’s introduction saw a host of calamity passes, his slide tackle saved himself embarrassment on one occasion but Banter were saved by Wuker more than once in the opening stages. Both teams had goals in them but Lions appeared to have a 1-2 goal advantage at all times, Manhire could do nothing about Lions quick free-kick and strike, nor any of the one on one’s he was left alone with. Euro might be one of the only people in the World with the ability to have an argument with an empty room, but even by his standards he was excelling. Not only was he on his last warning from the referee, but by now he was conceding free kicks from kick-off for taking 30 minutes to pass the ball. It was Banter’s counter-attacking that was causing Lions’ problems. Cling drove forward and found Euro wide left, his pass back was clever but ahead of Cling, who stretched to find Wommy on the right of the area, he stopped, committed the goalkeeper and returned to sender for Cling to finish. Jonny drove in a couple of tidy efforts – he appeared to find space with every Banter attack, whilst Cling got a second when shooting at the near post from a Euro cross. The new Didier Drogba scored an eye-catching goal too. Cling’s pass off the boards was good, but Boma’s turn and run was better and with a finish to match he pulled the game back to 8-10, which is how it finished.
It was a decent performance, despite the loss. If everyone sticks to their roles and communicates that bit more, we could push this lot all the way for the league. Some of the off the ball movement when we had possession was devastating, but sometimes when Lions had it, we were a little slack. This was our only negative.
CAPELLOS SUMMER WARM UP LEAGUE |
Division 1 |
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Team | P | W | L | D | GF | GA | PP | PTS | LIONS FC | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 40 | 9 | 0 | 9 | BANTER CENTRAL | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 22 | 13 | 0 | 6 | ODT | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 16 | 5 | 0 | 3 | HEATHMANS | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 10 | 0 | 3 | STEVE FC | 3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 10 | 27 | 0 | 3 | THE REAL ALE VUE | 3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 38 | 0 | 0 |
Squad: Fintan, Boma, Cling, Hore, Euro, Wommy, Baird Scorers: Baird (2), Cling (2), Euro, Fintan, Wommy
It was supposed to be a league game but given the unfortunate circumstances we ended up playing a friendly, without a ref I might add, which could have been a total farce – but wasn’t and there were about 2 fouls all game. Very fair, very enjoyable and played in good spirit. Lions took an early lead when Euro’s reverse-pass was played behind Cling who embarrassingly slipped as a result and had to watch as their striker moved in and side-footed home. 0-1. Lions doubled their lead shortly after with a good team goal but Banter did get a goal back when Euro slotted in after a mistake at the back. Lions made it 1-3 when a decent pass wasn’t cut out by Cling, resulting in a cool finish again. Banter grabbed another back to make it 2-3 - Baird probably did something amazing like juggle the ball using just his mullet before volleying in, but I just can’t remember. Then a decent attack halted as Euro stalled on the ball, seeing Cling’s run from deep he laid the ball all the way wide right for the number 7 to firmly side foot into the opposite corner of the net. 3-3. Boma had done a good job in goal but handed the gloves over to arguably the best with his hands in the whole squad, The Icon David Baird. The lad made some impressive saves, but one which he didn’t stop he’d opted to go legs first with, which made it 3-4. A 5th flew in before Banter clawed back again, after missing about a billion chances over the past few weeks, Rod flicked the ball onto his soft hair and ran with it the full length of the pitch – which the opposition didn’t mind about – flicked it in front of him to finish off with a diving header. If Cling could remember what actually happened here, it might have been a lot less spectacular. Boma had now allocated himself a free role and momentarily morphed into Didier Drogba with the neatest of turns resulting in his first time shot being saved by the goalkeeper. The Lions player simply known as ‘Orange boots’ grabbed a cheeky goal, after being robbed by Wommy he nicked it back and poked a shot in at the near post past Hore, the new goalkeeper who is the best in the squad with one hand, but just not on a football pitch. Wommy got a goal of his own when he kindly rolled the ball back to the Lions keeper, who in turn flapped it into his own net. The best goals were saved for Baird though. His own goal a classic when he firmly back-passed to Hore, the big man bent down only to watch it roll through his legs. It was the stuff of the school playground. But he scored at the other end to complete what is known as: “A Baird hat-trick” (it really doesn’t matter which end you score at), with a good run and rocket of a left foot drive into the far corner. He then adopted another new trait from the week previous called: “The Boma celebration” – he subbed himself off. Banter scored a 7th when Rod Fintan’s lovely pass sent Cling through who opened his body and side-footed into the far corner. Thierry Henry would have been proud. Sadly, Cling isn’t proud of Thierry Henry. It finished 7-9 to Lions FC in a good game which will hopefully be as enjoyable when the competitive fixture comes round.
Monday 23rd June 2008 League vs. ODT. Won 4-3 Squad: Wuker, Fintan, Boma, Cling, Hore, Euro, Wommy, Baird Scorers: Boma, Euro (2), Baird
A much better performance to kick off the league campaign, Banter welcoming back Rod Fintan and Wommy Gunn. The blues faced an organised and physical ODT side, who were as quick to stick in a reducer challenge as they were to complain about fresh air brushing past them.
As usual, Boma, Hore and Baird weren’t much interested in starting the game but when Boma did arrive he opened the scoring. With a simple sideways pass on, he attempted a ridiculous run up the wing just metres from the boards, which was cut off. He remained determined though, won the ball back and advanced to strike the ball sweetly into the bottom corner. He celebrated by… leaving the field of play. His work here was done. Banter conceded soon after though but regained the lead when more good work from Boma saw him square to Euro who finished past an already beaten goalkeeper. A shakey period going into half time saw Banter concede again, making it 2-2 at half time.
The second half was a much more determined and organised performance from Banter. Everyone was showing trust in one another and many more goals could have been scored. Boma had a glorious chance to take the lead when he had time to shoot, instead he opted to move the ball to his right foot and was closed down. Some sloppy team play saw ODT take the lead. As they broke, Cling believed he was Banter’s furthest player forward, marking the opposition defender. With Hore out of sight, he wasn’t and between them they stood and watched a goal fly in past Wuker and Fintan rightfully scream his bollocks off at such poor organisation from the pair. Euro levelled up after more good work from Boma and at 3-3 both teams were pushing for that winning goal. Wuker had a string of saves to make, which were all dealt with excellently. Great to see such confident handling again from the big man. Banter’s winning goal came courtesy of some iconic play though. A switch between Baird and Cling saw the teenager go on a typical marauding run, taking two of ODT’s players on and finishing with a powerful left foot drive into the corner from a difficult angle. Banter held on, with some good, calm on the ball play from Euro, Wommy and Cling, whilst Euro seemed to commit a foul every 30 seconds in those last 6 or 7 minutes.
A good win and a much improved performance from the week previous. Unfortunate not to score more, the woodwork denying us on many occasions but this could be costly in future if teams aren’t killed off when we have the chance.
Friendly vs. Lions FC. Lost 7-9
Monday 16th June Friendly vs. Morley Boys. Lost 8-3. Squad: Wuker, Boma, Cling, Hore, Euro, L.Dancer, Baird Scorers: L.Dancer, Hore, Baird So our final friendly (lets hope so this time) before we commence onto the more serious business of a league campaign, and there were some positives to be taken but were also some glaring negatives following this 8-3 defeat.
Banter made the brighter start (as we do every week), keeping the ball well, moving for each other and for the first 10 minutes were all tracking our man. Wuker was solid in goal and his distribution was massively improved from the previous week, it was both quick and safe. Banter took the lead, and deservedly so, after a good run by Euro released LD who slotted home nicely. The contest was then even most of the half, with the Morley Boys grabbing an equaliser. With 5 minutes of the half left Banter produced their best football, a slick team move with great movement finishing in Euro laying off to Hore, who kept his cool and slotted home nicely. But after all that hard work Banter conceded a sloppy goal pretty much straight from kick, letting the Morley Boys stroll through us with their forward turning from the corner easily and poking in a soft goal. 2-2 it was at half time. During our team talk we emphasised the need to stay with our man and that good movement off the ball would be key if we were to go on and win this game.
The start of the 2nd half was very tight for 5 minutes or so, but then for some reason we began to consistently lose our man, that coupled with a lack of movement when attacking left Banter on the back foot, pressed in our own half and the goals began to creep in. Time after time Banter left one man back alone as Morley Boys applied pressure in numbers, which they were rewarded for. Boma went close a couple of times and Cling hit the post, whilst Baird did eventually score a typically cheap goal that just rebounded off him into an empty net. 8-3 the game ended. After a very promising 1st half, we did not work hard enough for each other in the 2nd half and did not do as we’d planned. We need to address this if we are going to win games in our league matches. That said at times we play very good football, keep the ball very well and really do look like a good team. But it’s inconsistent.
How everyone faired…
Wuker - Good distribution, need to make yourself bigger in 1v1s and also you need to be shouting at players and letting them know when they are out of position as you can see everything.
LD - Great with the ball, need to stay tighter to your man and track him.
Boma - Some good work going forward, you can and will be the rock of our team, you just need to start talking to everyone more to let them know where you are and to tell them where they should be. Also have more confidence with the ball at your feet.
Baird - Enthusiastic as ever, could do with being more disciplined and stay with your man, you’re just so damn eager to have the ball that you sometimes go ball hunting.
Cling - Good effort and work-rate, sometimes just ends up running into dead ends, should go back and start again if need be.
Hore - Shows great enthusiasm at times, do need to work on your marking a bit, but mostly have some more confidence in yourself with the ball at your feet, particularly breaking away and running at defenders with your explosive pace.
Euro - Good work rate, but gave the ball away cheaply time after time, this needs to be rectified.
Wednesday 11th June Friendly vs. Brian Munich. Won 7-4. Squad: Wuker, Fintan, Boma, Cling, Hore, Euro, Wommy, Baird. Scorers: Euro (3), Wommy (3), Cling
A nice big squad, but a big squad who made things very difficult for themselves against a squad of 5. Second division they might have been, but this game could have been put to bed far earlier, but just as easily lost as a period in the second half saw the blues almost collapse. Banter took an early lead from Euro after he latched onto a loose ball and finished nicely. That lead was protected for some time until Brian Munich (fabulous name, by the way) got an equaliser through hard-work and simple, passing to feet football. Euro made it 2-1 with a similar goal to his first but again Munich fought back to make it 2-2 going into half time.
Banter found themselves 3-2 down after some sloppy defending, but after finding an equaliser via Wommy were behind once more after a good run down the right was passed to the edge of the area via the backboard and despite Brian Munich’s forward hitting a tame effort, it went in via big Wuker’s legs! After plenty of blocked shots, a bit of moaning about how far to stand away at a free-kick (I think the unofficial rules are that Brian Munich can stand as close as they wish, Banter must retreat a minimum of 20 yards), Banter grabbed an equaliser. With all the blues in Munich’s half, some quick passing found Cling who smashed a shot through the defenders legs and into the bottom corner. 4-4. Some good fortune together with decent passing (finally) saw Banter extend their lead soon after, a lovely inter-change of passing saw Hore send Euro through on goal, who neatly slotted in on the very edge of the area. That made it 5 and a 6th arrived and really shouldn’t have stood, as Wommy flicked the ball past a defender and brought it down with his head before rifling in a shot. A 7th was converted after more good running from Wommy saw his shot converted from a tight angle. It didn’t matter how many Zidane-type passes Cling played through, Baird was intent on not scoring though. The kid probably missed 4 one-on-one’s in the last 10 minutes, not including long range shots which had there been a proper pitch marked out, would mostly have gone off for throw-ins. 7-4 it finished up and despite making hard work of it, it was probably deserved and a rather enjoyable game.
I believe next week should be our first league game in a Tuesday league. We’ll see. Just make sure you turn up without any cash so Euro has to sub everyone.
Squad: Fintan, Boma, Cling, Hore, Euro, Baird. Goalscorer: Hore. Banter’s first Power League game saw the blues dealt an early test in a grading game against top division opposition. Both teams began the match at a high tempo, Rod Fintan beginning on the sidelines for Banter. Plenty of chances were created by both sides, Euro going the closest in the first 10 minutes, hitting the crossbar and the opposing goalkeeper making a couple of excellent saves. The best chance of the half came when Cling played a one-two with Fintan, the number 7 took the ball on and smashed a shot past the goalkeeper which cannoned back off the far post. The opening goal finally arrived when neither Hore nor Fintan could cut out a pass through the centre and with all the time in the World, the dark blues striker finished past the helpless Boma in the Banter goal. Another came shortly before the half when some slack marking saw Boma left alone again and could do nothing about the tidy finish into the bottom corner. 2-0 at half time.
At the beginning of the half it appeared that Banter were tiring the most, Boma was doing all he could to prevent more goals with a couple of really decent saves, one with his foot that even the opposition applauded. But shortly after Banter conceded again to go 3-0 down and in quick succession let in a 4th. Despite some neat passing, the Sunday leaguers simply couldn’t convert chances, a host of long range efforts from Cling, Baird, Fintan and Euro were all either comfortably saved or spooned wide. But the final 10 minutes of the half saw Banter pick the pace up a bit more as it was the opposition who began to look sluggish. A mazy run from Cling was followed up with a shot which was pushed past the post, but shortly after this some lethargic defending saw Hore cut off a back-pass and finish neatly from close range. 4-1. Banter kept the ball moving well as they looked for more goals and despite a curling effort from Fintan which shaved the post, the opposing goalkeeper was equal to anything and everything on target.
A decent game and if Banter can convert more chances, whilst opening up more gaps to create more clear cut opportunities, the blues could do alright in this Power League stuff.
Grading game. Lost 4-1. |
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